Concordians, Carlislians, Bostonians…Lend me your ears…

I come to welcome you to this most joyous and pivotal event- School committee, administrators, staff, faculty, parents, extended family, siblings and most of all, the distinguished soon to be graduates of the class of 2007.  Class of 2007, can I hear you make some noise?  Can I get an 07? 

Class of 2007, I come to thank you.  That you would choose me to be your commencement speaker from among these giants who are your teachers and my colleagues, is truly the highest honor.  And it has kept me awake worrying about what I was going to say for the last two months…If I was late in handing back any assignments to you, oh my students…this was why…Yeah, sure Mr. Kendall... This is the greatest affirmation of the work I have been done at the high school for the past ten years and again, I thank you.

At least once a week between September and June, as I begin my daily routine of waking up at 6am, walking blindly into the shower, occasionally shaving, feeling like I have been hit by a Mack Truck, and resolving that that night, I will go to bed earlier, spilling coffee on my lap as I sit in Route 2 traffic in my clunky blue Toyota station wagon with the dents, and the rust, and the different colored hood, arriving at school only to dodge the barrage of sarcastic comments from my colleagues in Social Studies and beat my esteemed associates from English to the copy machine,  dashing into my A Block classroom to rouse loudly my sleepy students and greet sarcastically the tardy stumblers, and of course, be gently lulled to full consciousness by the sweet sounds of Peter Walters, Jane Bird, and Basil Bourque over the announcements…

At least once a week, sometimes once a day, at some moment during this routine, I have the following realization: I get paid to do this.  This is my job.  I love my job.  And it is because of all of you- the parents, the administrators, the faculty and especially the students of CCHS, that I love my job. 

This is my first bit of parting advice to you, Class of 2007.  Find a career or pursuit in life that you love, that challenges you, that makes you want to be the best you can be, so that even after a lousy day, or month, or year, you look around and say, nope, there is nothing I would rather be doing, there is no place I would rather be, and no one I would rather be sharing my days with.  I am blessed to work with these people who sit before you.  Find your own community of colleagues who support you and teach you, who you look forward to having lunch with, who laugh with you and laugh at you…who humble you and push you not to take yourself too seriously…because if your friends can’t make fun of you, who can?  And if you don’t find that job or group of peers right away, work to transform the job or group you are in – fight for the best working conditions, hire the right people to work alongside you.  You are going to be seeing them a lot…and you deserve the best. 

And to the larger cohort of parents, citizens, and town officials here with us today, it is also thanks to you that I love my job.  Despite disagreements over the years, you have always returned to the principle that by doing what is best for the teachers of CCHS, you do what is best for the students. Where else but Concord could I get a grant to have an outfit made to dress up as Louis XIV and teach freshmen about absolute monarchs in a bad French accent?  Where else but Concord could I count on an army of parents from the CCPOPS to help build sets or find costumes for the plays I am directing?  Where else but Concord could we have the Ruettgers’family create an endowment for us to give lectures or seminars on our passions whether it is Ms. Carr’s seminar on Stalinist Russia or Ms. Hull’s lecture on Frida Kahlo or Mr. Cooprider’s lecture on the Physics of Flying. 

You have been generous people and by helping us be the best we can be, you inspire us to give to your sons and daughters the best education we know how to give.   So this commencement is not only a celebration of your sons’ and daughters’ achievements but a celebration of you and the vibrant culture and rich opportunities you have helped to foster at Concord Carlisle High School. 

Which brings me to the Class of 2007…07, 07…In looking through the yearbook, which is I think truly the finest I have ever seen, I realized that I have directly interacted with about two thirds of you over the last four years and heard tell of the rest of you…only good things of course.  Can we do a quick call and response- Shout Amen if you have ever had me as a history teacher…How about as a homeroom teacher…come on S9 home roomers…remember the times we shared since you were wee freshmen… I have worked with others of you on plays, gone on Model UN trips or designed the new killer Spectrum quilt…Or I met you in the last few months, crossing the line with you at Challenge Day or yelling at you for loafing around the S Building halls talking loudly to your friends while the Math teachers were teaching five feet away…”You can’t yell at me…I’m a Senior…You don’t even teach in this building”…that hurt me by the way…doing study hall in the S Building is a form of teaching…Can we hear from those of you who have never had me as a teacher or perhaps never even interacted with me in your entire four years…Can I hear you say, Hallelujah…?

The point is you have mingled with many phenomenal adults and students at this high school and I am confident that of all these people, there has been at least one and I hope more than one who has inspired you, shown you your potential, and helped you find your place at CCHS. 

You have done a hell of a lot of work to get to this commencement today.  Whether you have juggled the demands of multiple classes and Lacrosse and SAT prep and Boy Scouts and Moot Court and Sci Fi Club and the radio station and Step Club and church duties and babysitting your siblings and working at Crosbys and still find time to be a best friend or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and, most importantly, find time for Grey’s Anatomy or Lost…

Whether you have done some combination of these things, or simply fought to get through the day despite the personal crisis or demon you are wrestling with, each of you leaves this high school having faced up to a challenge and won. Whatever these victories, hold them in your memory.  Stick them to your mental refrigerator to remind yourself of what you are capable of, your personal best and the adults and peers who have helped you.  Remember these accomplishments- they are not small and draw strength from them as you enter into your next phase of life.  If you have made it this far, you can face up to the next challenges…

“Oh really Mr. Kendall, “you may ask, “What do you know about the challenges we are going to face? Didn’t you graduate from high school the year we were born?“ Why yes, I did. 

I would like to read you a poem.  “A poem?  You teach history, Mr. Kendall.  If we had wanted a poem, we would have asked for some English teacher like Ms. Richmond…” Well, it is funny you should mention Ms. Richmond because the poem is from a book she gave me a few years ago, by Mary Oliver.  It is called the Journey and I think it sums up well what you are all about to experience next.  Afterwards, we will break into small groups and discuss…

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began,
Though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice
Though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles.
'Mend my life!' each voice cried. But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,
Though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations
Though their melancholy was terrible. 
It was already late, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones.

But little by little, as you left their voices behind,
The stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds,
And there was a new voice, which you slowly recognized as your own,
That kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,
Determined to do the only thing you could do - - -
Determined to save the only life you could save. 

So now, rather than solicit a bunch of wrong interpretations from you for the next ten or fifteen minutes, I am going to tell you what I think the poem means and how it relates to you…

Class of 2007, in the last eighteen years, you have been your parents’ children and teachers’ students.  You have worked towards goals defined largely by others and while this has given you essential skills and confidence, it has left you only partially complete.  Today is called a commencement because it marks the beginning of your life as adults, a phase that is much longer, life long in fact and one that is determined largely by you.  And essential to your success, your happiness in life, as an adult, is to learn to recognize and trust your own voice.  This is a much fuzzier goal than getting into that special college in the sky or passing your classes to get out of high school.  And truly, it will be up to you to give yourself a grade. 

There is so much living yet ahead that will mold you and guide you to your true, full self.  And mark my words, only some of this living can take place in a classroom.  Some of my most transformative experiences have happened in the strangest places- wearing a hair net and washing pots in the dining halls at college to help pay for tuition, living in York, England for nine months on a semester abroad, working in a pub on weekends as the only Yank,  “Tom Cruise” they used to call me, being a camp counselor in Vermont after college where I realized I loved working with kids, leading hiking trips on the Appalachian Trail and not showering for a week, working at CCHS for the past ten years, failing and succeeding at love.  Yes, while I would like to think that my Ancient Greece course can show you the way to be a better friend or partner in a relationship, I am afraid you will have more to learn about that on your own.  So if you spend your whole college experience locked in your dorm room, studying at the expense of meeting the other extraordinary students who could rock your world, then you will have missed out on the full range of opportunities that college has to offer.  And for you rebels who have chosen to get a job right away, or enter the military, or take a year off before deciding on your next move, I applaud you and encourage you equally to seek out the people and opportunities that will most push you to find out who you really want to be as an adult. 

As Mr. Atlas said in his commencement speech a few years ago, there are over six billion people on this planet and at least one of them, if not more than one will want to share your dreams with you.  Hold on to the ones who lift you up and cut the cord with those who keep you down. 

But no matter how far away you travel or whatever transformation you undergo, I hope you will always remember that you are a CCHS graduate of 2007.  Many of you have known each other since elementary school.  This is where you first succeeded and failed with your social skills, where you first developed your confidence as athlete, academic, or singer and also your insecurities …These are vivid memories that can limit or distort how we see ourselves and others as adults.  I think of the girl in my second grade class who gained infamy for peeing in her pants on the playground…Sadly, I could never quite able to shake this memory of her, even as we all walked together at graduation.  So commencement can be liberation day!  You get to start over.   And while it can be a tremendous burden lifted from your shoulders, it can also be a hard adjustment too…If you have been a big fish in this little CCHS pond, you may be shocked at all the other big fish out when you venture out into the ocean.  But it is also a fresh opportunity to try on a different hat and learn more about yourself… away from your friends and parents who “know” you.  

I encourage you to come back to your high school reunions- these are your best chances to see how you have all grown, before you found your full voices- to see who has defied your expectations, who lives in a cabin and studies Grizzly Bears, who is married, who is gay, or both, who has kids, who drives a crummy Toyota station wagon, who drives a Beemer…You will be surprised where some of your peers’ journeys have led them and get a good perspective on your own journey so far, how distant from or how close you are to the you you knew in 2007 at CCHS.  

You have crossed the Rubicon, 2007 and there is no one right way to live except to be true to yourself and learn from your mistakes… and perhaps, be careful about when you have children…and avoid credit card debt…and maybe try to recycle and drive fuel efficient cars…Anyway… to give you hope, I will say that I am more happy and confident and definitely more in touch with my voice at age 37 than I was at 18 …and I look forward to getting older…Parenting?  No idea…Clearly, my journey isn’t over and neither is your parents’…they now get to experience the phase of life where they let you go off on your own journey without interfering or trying to protect you, where they learn to tell you to do your own damned laundry for a change.  I will be on the verge of retiring should you come back and visit CCHS when you are 37…in addition to hoping that I remember your name or my own for that matter, I hope to see the fires of passion burning in your eyes, that no matter what you are doing, you are confident you are on the right path.  I hope that you have met adults at CCHS who have modeled this for you, what it looks when someone is happy with what he or she is doing in life.  And I hope that this gives you hope that you can do the same. 

Go forth and prosper, Class of 2007.